notes
05/18/2023 13:49:12
i will never understand how it is to be you. went to do laundry at the other place instead and looked at the ground the entire way back. it's kind of beautiful today. i can't feel it\ i think about it all the time i do di do i do i do i do i do i do i do i do ok lol anyways.... working on new music a lot these days so yeah. not socializing much at all. not getting back to friends in a timely manner. smiling more. anxious on my computer going caving tmrw and day after peace
05/01/2023 11:10:55
these past two posts i guess i thought that it was 2022 for some reason but ill just keep that there... anyways it's 2023. also yeah making this message to say that my album is officially reuploaded on spotify most of you have no idea what im talking about or that this happened but basically took it down because it was uploaded by label and now since im not doing that, i have reuploaded it myself. the issue is that all of the streams (to the best of my knowlege) are still going to that album if you are playing the track from your saved library or playlists. if you save the "new" currently-existing version that is out right now (looks identical) and play that/save it or put that into the playlists, that will send all the new streams there to the correct place. i mean you don't have to, but just saying that's what's going on rn. you can tell the difference between the two because at the bottom of the old album under the track info it says "Copyright A2B2" and under the new one it says "Copyright hi it's death insurance".
so yeah. i know i have to make some instagram story or something to tell people about it but doing that shit makes me nervous for no good reason so i am doing that here. as for life, im so glad school is ending at the end of next week. im so over this but at the same time ive rationalized it out in my head so im no longer in breakdown mode. not even breakdown mode, just an absolute clarity of the situation that i have complete control over that was beautiful to understand. i dont have that power or energy anymore so im stuck doing school, but i also understand that too because moments of clarity come so fleetingly and ive made peace with it. i may have failed myself by not following through. this is just something i have to do and it is a part of life and i will do my best to finish and do my work and pay attention in class and do my work and pay attention in class and pay attention in class and life will be easier.i am a good and normal scholarly girl. i do my homework on time and i participate in classes none of them understand they dont get it. they never know what im really thinking. they may think they get it but they never will. i mean who gives a fuck shut up, summer is basically here and i have the entire summer to languish. it will be nice......working on music, caving, hanging out with aiden, etc. i will do my best not to waste my life.
04/04/2022 23:18:23
let me quit school. please let me quit school. cue: Head on Train Crash Compilation 2021
04/04/2022 02:58:12
LMFAO FUCK THAT SHIT I SAID BEFORE I DONT WANT TO BE IN SCHOOL ANYMORE I JUST WANT TO MAKE MUSIC
03/20/2023 10:09:12
i'm in class right now and i couldn't sleep last night and i have many thoughts about many things that i won't share (well...maybe a little), but just writing this to let you know i'm thinking about my little things.it's frustrating that since i make music, all i am viewed as is a musician, and that if i'm not working on anything i feel like i'm doing something wrong. everyone constantly asks me if i'm working on music and if i say i'm taking a break for a bit or i'm doing lots of school stuff, people automatically some people assume death insurance is dead or like i'm dumb for not constantly churning shit out. like what the hell lmfao, can't i be a real person and live a life that's not centered 100% around music? another thing is that it's harder for me to make things because i have actual people looking at me now. i'm just complaining because i can and because everything else is ok hehe. so i apologize....no i dont! i don't apologize, i can do this if i want to. chances are i'll drop something this year and i still love making music, but just am not in my obsessive music mode at the moment. i am enjoying my classes and am being immersed in archaeobotany, philosophy of ruins and decay, american gothic, and volcanos. so far i really liked "other voices, other rooms" by truman capote and shirley jackson. i recommend "good country people" by her if you want a nice short story. i memorized like 60ish plants from id cards and am now trying to memorize their scientific names too. the eastern state plant id cards i ordered had like 50 cards overlapping w the western deck i had so im going to put those in stuff people order lmao. and also this summer im gonna take a course on cave cartogography and surveying! wahoo! i will make a conscious effort to make more youtube videos in the mean time because i've been avoiding posting anything anywhere as i explained before because too many people around. personal life has had its ups and downs lately. but you don't need to know. i have been feeling happier and more open to the world recently. i have been doing many things well, cooking healthy meals (beets), maintaining my marie kondo'd room, throwing away junk, eating 2 women's multivitamin gummies every morning, going to the gym in order to let _______class is over goodbye.
01/22/2023 17:42:00
tldr: merch is back i'm back in new york, school starts tomorrow. i recently got into marie kondo lol.... idk it looks like a normal room now that im done with it, but it was pretty wretched before. ok yeah so i've put the merch back online. and sorry if i take a while, i think i will choose 1 day a week to do all the packing/shipping because of school hw stuff. i'm taking an american gothic class, human physiology class, archaebotany class, and maybe one on volcanos if i get in or a stupid 3 time a week environment and society thing. anyways.............................................................. ........................................................................................... ................... .................................................................. ......................................................................................... ................ .........................................ueahah i'm still not doing shows for a while until after school is over. i'm still working on my ep project i am enjoying it. i know i should post this information about merch on instagram because no one checks this site and pepole will see it on instagram but i can't deal with instagram right now not in like a oh no technology sucks way but idk it just really stresses me out. this feels much better because there's such minimal interaction. i will respond to my dms soon, i'm sorry if i hhaven't gotten back to you and you're my firend and if you are not my friend i will still try and get back to you about whatever you are inquiring. but please if you are booking, please refrain from reaching out to me about playing stuff because it keeps happening and i feel like im doing everything wrong in my life. honestly it doesn't really matter, but that would be in a perfect world lol
10/12/2022 11:52:10
disliking things again. and also liking other things too in this world.
10/07/2022 11:46:13
i hate thinking about things and i especially hate thinking about embarassing things. and i don't feel bad i just would like to step out of my skin for just a little bit. unrelated, i'd like to grow a vegetable. maybe a turnip because they'd be able to grow in the winter. i don't even eat turnips though. shutup. alright so i am going to the post office, anyone need anything? this dogsit dog kept barking last night every two hours i couldn't sleep, but i did have a nice dream that i've forgotten about. he's looking at me right now, but i'm not going to look. he left. i'm getting older. my phone is ringing, but i don't want to look at it so i'm going to ignore it. jk going to look at it now i guess. bye
09/15/2022 17:49:09
ok i fucked up the order twice and got the wrong size so i had to return them and so i'm not getting the correct poster tube until the 20th, sorry about the delay. you can hit me in the head.
09/11/2022 10:07:13
also, the shipping materials from uline i had to get cause my method of taping cardboard together was taking like an hour for one order, is coming on the 13th, so please be patient and wait for that....srry. if you ordered the toothbrush/sticker you should be getting those quickly.
09/11/2022 10:04:10
im so confused about everything. i have got to get a degree in geology.
09/09/2022 19:58:27
i miss the dog bmo i was taking care of. ok i'm done messing around with this website i dont know how to code correctly and i think i may be messing things up. i put the ads on the homepage but now the mobile is all wonky. going to make this live now. im going to have to make an instagram post about this too. stupid stupid stupid.
08/13/2022 17:21:23
Wow this was something so awesome that happened the other day I can't believe it wow. Dog sitting right now just woke up from a nap this persons apartment smells like fish.
















